


you want a better story (who wouldn't?)

by CallicoKitten



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: (pun intended), Absent Parents, Alcohol, Angst, Casual Sex, Depression, Everyone on this ship is a mess, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mutual Pining, Polyamory, Post-Movie(s), Slow Burn, Tarsus IV, of the kind that leads to whoops feelingss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:26:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7908187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallicoKitten/pseuds/CallicoKitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones knows that Spock would cross the galaxy to save Jim but there's something in his gaze - not quite contempt, disappointment maybe - that makes Bones rail against him. This isn't the time or the place though and Bones doesn't give a good godamn what that pointy eared robot thinks, Jim is doing better if not well and really, that should be enough for them all.</p><p>-</p><p>in which everyone is in love with everyone but no one knows it</p>
            </blockquote>





	you want a better story (who wouldn't?)

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this a month(?) ago after seeing the movie so there might be some inconsistencies.
> 
> my track record with long fics is also historically awful but i'll try to finish this

_Dear Joanna,_ Bones writes.

_We've been docked in Yorktown for almost two months. It's the longest we've stood still since  -  well, hell, for as long as I can remember. I'm getting dangerously attached to my room and to the sensation of (relatively) steady ground. (And don't get me wrong, hon, Yorkdown is as ungodly as any ship, it's not even a **planet,** Joey. It's just a city in a glass bubble and people **live** here. I tell you, the more time I spend out in the world the more I'm convinced it's everyone else that's diagnosably insane.)_

_I've spent most of my time with the crew - I know, I know, if I'm so sick of them, why do I keep spending time with them? It's one of those 'you'll understand when you're older things.' I've been spending a lot of time with Lieutenant Sulu and his family, his little girl is about the age you were when I left.  You'd like her, I think, smart as a whip and tough as old leather, just like you were._

_You know, they have a park here made to look like a ranch. I've been there a few times, never thought I'd feel that ache for home in my bones again. That's awful, isn't it? By all rights I should be missing you and home with every godamn breath but I don't and I suppose that's why I left in first place. You might understand that one day but most likely you won't. Your mamas raising you right, after all._

_Anyway, we got our orders today. We're shipping out in a month so next time I write you I'll be back amongst the stars. No idea where we're headed, uncharted space. Jim's beside himself with excitement, I don't know how he does it._

_Maybe I should come home a while, maybe I'm just getting old._

_I love you,_

_Dad._

He doesn't hit send.

He never hits send.

\---

Bones has gotten used to this, used to Jim hanging on to his shoulder, heavy and warm and slurring his words. "We're shippin' out again, Bones," he says, laughter in his tone. "Uncharted space! Adventure! Discovery! Our girl is finally all ready to ship out!"

He smells sweet, like whiskey and sweat and there was a time when Bones would have balked at that but they're both far too used to this by now. He grunts, shifts Jim's weight so he can jab at the elevator button. Jim's quarters are the penthouse suite of Star Fleet's temporary accommodation building. Bones and the other chief officers are one floor down and Bones had been looking forward to his own bed, his own scotch but tonight, he knows, Jim'll drag him down when Bones deposits him on the bed and kiss him sloppily.

Bones hasn't decided whether he'll give in yet. He doesn't mostly but this has been a thing since Jim would go out drinking at the Academy and Bones'd wake up at 3am with Jim on top of him, hands already in Bones' pants. He's still not really sure what  it means, whether Jim actually wants it or whether Bones is just the next best thing to whatever girl has caught his eye that day but whatever, it's a release and that might be all kinds of screwed up but Bones spends his days rocketing through a vacuum and patching up laser wounds so really, a little damage is to be expected by now.

"Doctor," says a voice at Bones' elbow.

_Godammit._

"Spock," Bones huffs out.

The Vulcan is dressed neatly in a black tunic and form-fitted trousers. Bones hasn't seen much of him during their sabbatical. He did at first when he'd find himself at Spock's door, checking and rechecking his wound even though they both knew it had been fixed up the second Krall was jettisoned into space. There's barely even a scar these days but Spock had humoured him for whatever reason and kept the raised eyebrows to a minimum.

He eyes Jim, hanging off Bones, mostly deadweight with a carefully blank expression. Bones knows that Spock would cross the galaxy to save Jim but there's something in his gaze - not quite contempt, disappointment maybe - that makes Bones rail against him. This isn't the time or the place though and Bones doesn't give a good godamn what that pointy eared robot thinks, Jim is doing better if not well and really, that should be enough for them all.

"Captain," Spock says, carefully.

Jim slurs something that might be a greeting but it's hard to tell and Spock arches that godamn eyebrow of his and says, "Do you need assistance, Doctor?"

"Well, I wouldn't say _no,"_ Bones grumbles because Jim is heavy, dammit.

Spock obliges, moves over and gently takes Jim's other arm, slipping it around his shoulders and shifting Jim's weight until it's displaced more evenly. Bones heaves out a sigh and they wait for the elevator in an uneasy silence.

When they get upstairs, Spock opens the door to Jim's rooms with surprising ease. Usually it takes Bones a good few minutes to get Jim in position to open it. "If you would, Doctor," Spock says, indicating the door.

"You sure?" Bones asks.

"Vulcans are exponentially stronger than humans," he says brightly. "I will be more than capable of supporting the Captains weight on my own."

Bones rolls his eyes. "You coulda offered earlier, then," he says sourly. He lets Jim go and holds open the door, watching Spock walk Jim across the room to the bed and deposit him neatly on it.

He's bending away to stand up when Jim's hand comes up and grabs his sleeve. Bones feels a flush spread across his neck. He holds his breath.

Thankfully, Jim's lucid enough to notice something's amiss, "You're not Bones," he mumbles.

"No, Captain," Spock says, tone warm.

Bones lets out a breath and Spock strides back towards him, "I trust you can take it from here, Doctor," he says, curtly.

Bones nods to him and closes the door. Jim's sitting up in bed, blinking across at Bones blearily and fuck it, Bones thinks. You only live once, anyway.

\---

He leaves Jim's room with the taste of whiskey on his tongue and rumpled hair and there's the beginnings of a hickey on his collar bone but he has equipment that can take care of that and it's not like anyone's going to _see_ him between here and his room.

He's wrong of course, because the world of Leonard McCoy is governed chiefly by Murphy's Law and the elevator doors slide open to reveal Spock stepping out of Uhura's rooms. There's a moment where they stare at each other, Spock as carefully neat as ever, Bones looking for all the world like he's spent the night in a barn and Spock's expression is outwardly blank but inwardly his eyes speak volumes.

 _Fascinating,_ Bones hears.

"Doctor, what a welcome coincidence," Spock says, wryly. "I trust the Captain is all settled?"

Bones scowls at him. Spock raises an eyebrow.

"He's fine," Bones says. "Night cap with Lieutenant Uhura?"

"Not at all, Doctor," Spock answers. "I was merely returning a book which the Lieutenant had allowed me to borrow. Any romantic inclinations between us are long gone, I assure you."

Once, Bones would have taken that at face value, Vulcans rarely lie after all but Bones has learnt and just because there's not a green flush spreading across Spock's face doesn't mean he's telling the truth.

"I'm sure," Bones mutters. Spock looks mildly offended but decides, for whatever reason, not to push it.

"Well, good night, Doctor," Spock says. He turns and walks across the hallway to his quarters and Bones finds himself calling out, "Hey, how's that gut wound keeping?"

Spock pauses and turns back to him, "It's fine, Doctor. Long since healed."

\---

Winona Kirk calls him the day before they're due to ship out.

Bones likes Winona, despite it all. How can he not? She's an older, harder version of Jim, boundless energy and quick wit and cracks that don't show unless you're looking for them.

"I hear you're shipping out again," she opens with and Bones nods.

"Yes M'am, tomorrow morning, 8am sharp. What about you? You still over at Regula?"

"Yeah. I'm starting to get antsy though. Thinking of putting in for a transfer, one more mission before I call it quits, you know?" She smiles.

"Awh, come on now, M'am, I don't believe you'll ever call it quits," the words roll off his tongue before he can really stop them and Winona's smile falters. She'd only quit Star Fleet once before, when Jim was born but it hadn't stuck. She'd been back on a ship before he turned five.

Bones knows he's supposed to be angry on Jim's behalf at her for that but Bones can relate. She's not the only one who ran to the other side of universe and left a kid behind.

"Well, I'm getting old, Leonard," she says, a little weakly. "Anyway, how is our boy? I haven't heard from in a while."

Bones frowns, "He didn't call on his birthday?"

Winona shakes her head. "He phoned George a few days afterwards, though." She's trying not to look hurt.

"He said he'd call," Bones mutters. "I can talk to him, if you like?"

"No, no," she says. "It's fine. He'll call when he's ready. Just keep an eye on him, okay?"

"Yes M'am."

\---

This thing with Jim, Bones wants to think, began with Khan and ended with Krall. An odd mixture of slow acting, residual trauma and boredom. Khan took Pike, wrecked half of San Francisco and - technically - killed him. Not really the kind of thing you'd walk off. Of course, Jim being Jim, that's exactly what he tried to do.

Add in the pretty dismal start to their five year mission and you've got yourself pot ready to over boil.  

Now, in Bones' opinion, their first three years in uncharted space were smooth sailing, minimal casualties, a distinct lack of running for his life but he gets that for people like Jim things that fall into the ' _reasonably safe'_ category also fall into the _' boring to the point of tears'_ category. And for Jim boredom is as maddening and frustrating as, well, as Jim is to Bones so there's that.

He'd been hoping that this Krall thing would give Jim a year or so's worth of reinvigoration but it's not looking like it'll turn out that way.

The trouble is, Jim's never been one for discussing the important stuff. When it's someone else's turn to share he's all for it, but when it's him that could do with opening up? It's a whole different story.

Now, Bones knows he's probably not the best example of emotional stability but he at least has the decency to limit his benders to once or twice a year at most. And he's polite enough not involve Jim in it.

Okay, maybe Jim doesn't so much _involve_ Bones as Bones involves himself but Bones' point stands.

Jim's careful, mostly. He keeps his drinking to his quarters, tries not to stare blankly out at the stars too often and charms the crew often enough that they don't notice much amiss. He's had a lifetime of it, Bones thinks, convincing the world he's fine. The unshakable Jim Kirk, been to hell and back with a smile on his face. He thinks he's got to keep it up for the crew, this myth he's built for himself, around himself. They're buying it.

Uhura's been mostly busy with her job and whatever being in a relationship with a Vulcan is or was like and besides, she stopped paying much attention to Jim Kirk back at the Academy. Chekov and Scotty have always been more interested in the _Enterprise_ herself than anything their Captain might be attempting to hide from them. Sulu Bones is unsure about, if he's noticed anything, he's keeping quiet about it.

Spock must notice though.

He _must._

But if he does, he doesn't seem to be doing a damn thing about it.

\---

They're one week in before the sensors Bones had installed secretly in Jim's quarters start to bleep and Bones heaves a sigh, rolling out of bed. First week is always the hardest, flues and space sickness and the like. He and Scotty had spent a day or two bugging the team in charge of fixing up the _Enterprise_ , Bones had asked for extra equipment, a new bay, they've brought on a few new doctors and nurses but he's still exhausted, bone-tired and so _ready_ for bed he's aching for it.

He grumbles his way through the ship towards Jim's quarters and finds him sprawled half on the floor, half on a low coffee table.

"For god's sake man," he mutters, as the door snicks shut behind him. "You couldn't do this at a more reasonable time."

"Do what?" Jim slurs. He sits up, blinking across at Bones blearily. "What're you doing here?"

"Makin' sure you don't choke to death on your own puke," Bones says. He drops to his knees automatically, reaches out to check Jim's pulse. Jim's conscious enough that he's probably not in any real danger but Bones has to be sure.

He's already seen Jim cold and stiff once and that's enough for him. That'd be enough for anyone.

Jim sniggers, "That'd be a way to go, wouldn't it? Bet my dad'd be proud."

"Yeah, we'd all be proud," Bones mutters, he moves around until he's behind Jim, hefts him up. "Come on, Captain, let's get you to bed."

"You could at least buy me dinner first," Jim says. His tone is rough, pulled taut. It'll snap if Bones lets it.

"Tomorrow in the mess sound good? Got to make the most of that coffee before they run out and leave us with the replicant stuff."

"I _like_ the replicant stuff."

"Well you're a space brat," Bones says, shoving Jim firmly on to the bed. "You have absolutely no taste."

Jim flinches at that, blink and you'll miss it but present. He bats Bones' hands away when Bones tries to help him with his uniform. "Explains why I spend so much time with _you,_ then," he says. It's too warm. Not playful enough for their usual back and forth. Jim must notice it too because he looks away, a faint flush spreading along his cheek bones.

Bones sighs, "You gotta stop doing this, Jim."

Jim passes a hand over his face, "I know. I just... I kept thinking that if it was us stranded on that planet, me and you and the crew - what would I do to get home? I mean would I - would I kill all those people just to get us out of there?"

"Jim," Bones cuts him off. "Krall was a lunatic, you'd sure as hell do a better job at getting us off some godforsaken planet and you _did_. Alright?"

Jim swallows.

"See you tomorrow, Captain. Oh-eight-hundred, right?"

Jim rolls over, pulling the blanket with him. "See you in the morning, Bones."

Bones lingers a moment, he's not sure whether he wants Jim to roll over again and drag Bones down with him or not but eventually, he stands, clicks the lights off since Jim doesn't seem inclined to and leaves.

As the door slides shut he looks up and sees Spock at the other end of the corridor, watching. Spock's quarters are next to Jim's, it's honestly a miracle that this hasn't happened yet.

"Doctor," Spock greets, peering at Bones curiously. "Is the Captain unwell?"

"No, Spock, we were just sharing a little celebratory drink is all," Bones says.

Spock nods. He doesn't believe him, Bones knows and for some reason, Bones feels the absurd need to explain himself to Spock, to make him _understand._

"Well, goodnight," Spock says.

Bones nods.

\---

(Sometimes their situations are reversed; sometimes it's Bones that turns up drunk to Jim's quarters, kisses into his mouth tasting like scotch and Scotty's engine room hooch, biting along Jim's collar bone, pressing bruises into  Jim's hips.

" _Fuck,_ " Jim breathes out against Bones' ear and he commits it to memory without meaning too - commits it to memory along with the noises Jim makes when Bones is fucking him and the way his mouth goes slack and his eyes flutter when he's close.

"Bones - fuck - _Bones -_ "

It's a problem Bones isn't really equipped to deal with.)

\---

_Joanna,_

_I'm sorry I didn't get this to you yesterday, work kept me busy._

_Happy birthday, sweetie._

_I should be there, I know. I think this year marks the year I've been away from you more than I've been with you._

_I'll make it up to you somehow._

_All my love,_

_Dad._

_\---_

"Hey," Jim says, over dinner in his quarters one evening. "Did I ever thank you for not leaving Spock to die on that planet?"

Bones snorts, "No you did not."

He wouldn't really and Jim knows that. Spock might drive Bones crazy but he's a good First Officer and besides, Jim would be even more of a wreck without him.

"Well, thank you," Jim says. "I'll make sure I get you a new tricorder or whatever it is you're into these days."

Bones hums, "Peace and quiet, mostly."

Jim laughs, bright and open. They've found a new planet, been exploring all day. It's the happiest Bones has seen Jim for years. "I think you might be in the wrong line of work for that, my friend."

"Yeah," Bones takes a sip of his drink. "I get that feeling too."

The door bleeps and an automated voice announces Spock's presence. Jim sits up straighter, leans back across the couch and says, "Enter."

The door slides open, Spock appears. He doesn't look surprised at Bones' presence which for some reason makes Bones feel worse about the whole thing. Spock probably has ideas that they've been having some deep, clandestine affair rather than sloppy, drunken sex every once in a while.

"Ah, I see you are still occupied," Spock says, taking in their half-finished dinner plates. "I shall return in - "

"No, no," Jim says. "Come, sit."

Spock looks across at Bones briefly and it's too fleeting for Bones to pick up much from it, whether it's a challenge or a request or whether he's simply trying to gauge what Bones is thinking but later, Bones thinks on it. Bones thinks on it a lot.

\---

Sometimes, Bones gets drunk with Scotty. Mostly because it's pretty difficult to complain about Jim when you're getting drunk _with_ Jim.

It's taken a month and a half for Scotty to call him down here and Bones would be offended if he hadn't figured out that Scotty had taken on Jaylah rather than shipping her off to Starfleet Academy like they'd all agreed. He hasn't actually _seen_ Jaylah yet but with her smarts he's not likely too unless she wants that. Or gets horrifically injured because Scotty and health and safety regulations don't seem to mix.

Scotty's telling him about Chekov's latest beau and his increasingly laughable attempts to woo her. He finishes out with a swig of his latest batch of hooch and a sigh of, "Ah, young love."

Bones has already ranted about Jim's recklessness, Spock's too for what it's worth. They both almost got themselves killed on that new planet earlier. He shakes his head. He's getting too old for this.

Scotty must agree because he stretches, winces and says, "Hey, any chance you could brew up some of that hangover cure you're always slipping the Captain?"

That 'hangover cure' is really just water for rehydration and pain killers, _strong_ pain killers, but Scotty doesn't need to know that. "I'll see what I can do," Bones says, standing. He sways a little and when the world stops spinning, he claps Scotty on the shoulder and makes his way unsteadily up to the med bay.

He nods to the doctors and nurses on hand and heads across to his office, pausing when he notices the door is ajar.

Spock spins around guiltily when he enters. He's strapping up a wound on his chest, it doesn't look too bad from the brief glimpse Bones gets before Spock drops his top but Bones still finds himself livid.

"You're _injured_?" he snaps. He'd looked them both over when they got back on board. _Tried_ to at least.

"Doctor," Spock says, in what he clearly thinks is a soothing voice. "I was merely loathe to trouble you with such an inconsequential scrape." Which makes _no_ sense.

Spock is a being primarily powered by logic, so why would he hide an injury, no matter how inconsequential? Inconsequential injuries can still get infected. Can still impede performance. It's downright _irresponsible._

"Bull crap," he mutters. "Let me see."

Spock seems to consider this, opens his mouth no doubt to tell Bones that he's already taken care of it so Bones strides across the room and gives Spock his best stern doctor expression. Slowly, Spock rolls up his uniform.

There's bruising around the shallow gash but after a quick scan with his tricorder, Bones knows that none of Spock's ribs are broken. The bruising is bad though and because Spock's really pissed him off he insists on doing a physical exam, pressing gently on the mottled flesh. Not hard enough to cause any real pain but enough to cause discomfort.

Spock makes a face.

"You should have told me about this when we first beamed you up," Bones mutters, knitting the flesh neatly together.

"As I said, Doctor," Spock says, and there's an edge to his voice that makes Bones look up. "I did not wish to trouble you."

Bones frowns. There's _something_ in Spock's voice but he has no idea what. He reaches for the bandages, he'll strap Spock's ribs up while the anti-inflammatory gets to work on the bruises and an idea occurs to him. "Are you avoiding me, Spock?" he asks.

Spock glances down at him and it's hard to tell - Bones is looking up at him and the lights above are very, very bright - but he's fairly sure the tips of Spock's ears are faintly green. "Certainly not, Doctor." Spock says, voice dry.

 And Bones has no godamn idea what to do about _that._

He grasps at the most likely explanation and smirks as he stands, "Don't worry, I won't obsess over this one like I did before. I just need one follow up exam, that's all."

Spock doesn't seem relieved but if there was a green flush there certainly isn't one now. He nods and Bones can see the whirs and gears working behind his eyes, "Good to know, Doctor," he says, curtly.

\---

"You notice anything weird about Spock?"

Jim pauses, he's half in Bones' lap, more sober than usual. He slides his hand out of Bones' pants. "You want to talk about Spock?" he asks. "You want to talk about Spock _now_?" Then he laughs and Bones feels a whole lot less stupid.

"Yeah," Bones says. "You notice anything weird lately?"

Jim slides out of his lap and settles beside him comfortably. God, it's almost _domestic._ "You'll have to be more specific," he jokes. "No, I mean, he seems fine. He and Uhura are on the outs again though, maybe it's that."

"Yeah," Bones agrees. "Yeah, probably."

They sit in silence after that. He could lean over and kiss Jim again but that would be too deliberate.

\---

_Joanna,_

_The last time I saw you I was graduating the Academy. I'm sure you remember, your momma brought you up in your Sunday best and you showed me all the pictures of you as a flower girl at your momma and Richard's wedding. You cried when you had to leave because you thought I'd be lonely and I told you I wasn't because I had Jim._

_You didn't meet him that weekend but I can't remember why. You'd love him, Joey. Everybody does but you I think, would especially. He's funny and adventurous and he'd be head over heels with you._

_God, you have no idea how much I wish things were different, Joey._

_All my love,_

_Dad._  


End file.
